


I Swear That You Want This

by NeonNitrogen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, It's mainly just Mingyu and Wonwoo with a tad bit of Soonyoung, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Sexual Content, No Actual Ghosts, Parallel Universes, Pseudoscience, darker themes, how to tag this, uhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonNitrogen/pseuds/NeonNitrogen
Summary: Mingyu never wanted to get involved with the supernatural or the unordinary. And he could have sworn that at one point it time he thought the same thing about Wonwoo.Neither of those go according to plan.(Space And Time Are Concepts But You're Proof That Destiny Is Our Reality)





	I Swear That You Want This

Mingyu never liked the idea of the supernatural or the out of the ordinary. Never messed with the creaking from the living room or lights that flickered inexplicably, or the unexplainable _thump thump thump_ you could have sworn you heard from outside your window just when you were on the cusp of falling asleep.

So basically the thought of Mingyu even _entertaining_ the idea of going ghost hunting was nearly incomprehensible. He would never label himself a believer in such things, per se, he just would rather not take the chance of running into something he knew he wouldn’t want to deal with.

But here he was, in a jacket too light for the cold that crept on his skin, in a building they most certainly weren’t supposed to be visiting. The barbed wire fence they had to jump just to get in was proof enough of that.

And it just so happens, Wonwoo had also been something Mingyu could have sworn he had said at one point in time that he wouldn’t get involved with. 

Neither if those things had gone according to plan.

\---

Once upon a time, Wonwoo had just been a boy at a party that Mingyu just happened to also be attending. Mingyu instantly took note of the guy who was alone and practically brooding at a college party.

It’s strange to think back on it, but Mingyu sometimes allowed himself to wonder if there was something different he could have done that night to avoid everything else that had happened post Wonwoo or if meeting him was just an unavoidable circumstance of Mingyu’s life. 

Soonyoung had been leaning over Seungcheol’s lap, a decently built guy that Mingyu had seen around campus a few times, but never made a point to actually get acquainted with, when he called Mingyu over so he could jerk his chin in the direction of the boy Mingyu had never seen before.

“Stop staring and just introduce yourself. It’s a party for god’s sake, nothing bad’s going to happen if you go talk to him.”

But now Mingyu’s attention had been redirected to the Seungcheol guy’s hand, which was resting firmly on Soonyoung’s ass like it belonged there. And it must have this week, since Soonyoung was doing absolutely nothing to deter the touch. 

“Do you know who he is? I’ve never seen him before,” said Mingyu.

“Yeah, his name's Wonwoo. You really haven’t ever seen him before? He’s pretty down with a lot of our friends.” 

“Nah, don’t think so.” Mingyu’s eyes slowly shifted from the hand back to the newly named Wonwoo, who was leaning against the wall next to the kitchen. Mingyu was pretty sure he would have remembered such a sight.

There really wasn’t anything about Wonwoo that could have tipped off Mingyu. Nothing about his demeanor, his stance, or even the way he was dressed could have warned him. At first, Wonwoo had been just another boy at this college party, his wrist a unconcerned limp from the weight of the drink in his hand.

But the closer Mingyu got, the more unsettled he became.

Wonwoo looked up from the liquid that pooled at the bottom of his cup when he noticed Mingyu approaching. His footsteps faltered under the gaze and suddenly, Mingyu could see it. Could see a vision of the path his life would descend down if he took a single step closer. Started a conversation. Initiated an interaction.

It almost seemed like an out of body experience, in a way. All at once, Mingyu was overwhelmed with every scenario and every occurrence that could and would happen between him and Wonwoo. The scenes flashed by way too fast for Mingyu to even begin to try and interpret them, but it was enough to leave an emotional impact in its wake. It caused Mingyu’s knees to feel a bit weak. Felt the breath in his lungs stop short. There was a stinging in the back of his eyes. His lips twitched into something akin to a smile.

Mingyu had made a mistake.

But it was already too late, at least in this reality. He didn’t know just where along the lines he had gone wrong. Perhaps his mistake had been a choice made much earlier on then this one, but he had made it too obvious that Wonwoo had been his destination instead of the kitchen that Mingyu had redirected his trajectory towards in a last ditch effort. 

A hand gripped his sleeve, firm and unrelenting.

\---

From then on, Wonwoo seemed to be everywhere. In the cafe Mingyu liked to distress at. At the same corner of the library that Mingyu liked to hole up into some weekends. At all the parties Mingyu attended.

Wonwoo had always been there somehow, but he wasn’t always his friend. Some days, Wonwoo would plop down across from Mingyu at the cafe, his newly bought chai tea latte nearly splashing out over the top, a groan of how horrible his physics class had been that day already past his lips. 

Other days, Wonwoo would only glance at Mingyu once or twice through the searing glow of laser lights in the dark living room of Soonyoung’s place.

“I can’t tell if we’re friends or not,” grumbled Mingyu from his side of the couch as he watched Wonwoo laugh with some guy Mingyu didn’t recognize from across the room. Soonyoung was in the middle, holding the hand of “Minghao, from my dance club”, who occupied the left side of the couch, face aglow from busying himself on his phone while his boyfriend talked.

“Didn’t you just tell me like a week ago you wished you never met the guy?” 

Which was true. Mingyu almost always found himself lamenting the mistake that must have occurred that one night, months ago now. 

There was just something about the guy. He hadn’t done anything specifically to Mingyu, but the flighty sort of dismissive aura Wonwoo could emit put Mingyu on edge and left a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

It was just simpler for Mingyu to keep the guy at a distance, since he couldn't quite get a read on him. But for some reason, Mingyu never remembered he felt that way until after Wonwoo had vacated the spot across from him. Never during. 

“It’s so strange, it’s like I can’t help myself when he’s—,” 

“Hey,” interrupts Soonyoung with a smack to Mingyu’s arm, “Did you ever read that post I sent you earlier?”

“The one about the corolla?” Soonyoung nodded his head hard. “Yeah, dude, it was so funny.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Soonyoung over the newly added pounding bass of the song that just came on.

Mingyu caught sight of Chan out of the corner of his eye just as he clipped his shoulder on the hallway entrance, teetered dangerously, then ultimately lost the fight with gravity. Both Soonyoung and Mingyu laughed hard enough to disturb Minghao from his phone, who looked up to judge the scene before him.

Soonyoung chugged the rest of his drink with a loud musing thought of, “That’s the level I need to get on!”

“Uh, what was I saying?” Mingyu laughed when Seungkwan came over to try and help Chan up and only succeeded in pouring his drink all over him.

Soonyoung shrugged. “Must not have been that important.”

Mingyu couldn’t help but agree as he downed his own drink so he could follow Soonyoung and Minghao to the kitchen to get a new one.

\---

It was a Thursday night and Mingyu was nursing his third cup of coffee as he raked a hand through his bangs. The equations were starting to swim on the paper in front of him and Mingyu wasn’t sure if the caffeine or the sleep deprivation was the true culprit.

Or maybe it was the low lighting of the cafe he sat in. Whatever it was, it was giving Mingyu a headache. Mingyu glanced out the window he was sitting next to, surprised to see that the residual light from the sun setting was almost gone. 

He had only meant to be here for a few hours or until his homework was done, whichever of the two came first. The second had never been achieved and the first had long since came and gone. 

With a deep sigh, Mingyu packed up his things a bit haphazardly. His hands shook and Mingyu didn’t want to contemplate the origin when he knew he wouldn’t find the answer like with his headache.

Mingyu exited the building and immediately turned to the left, locating his locked up bike in one of the many racks the city had installed around this college town. One more quick glance to his still shaking hands and Mingyu decided that walking his bike sounded like the better option between that or scraped up skin.

About ten minutes in, when Mingyu was finally back on campus, he noticed a familiar figure sitting on a bench a few feet ahead.

Wonwoo had his head tilted down, eyes focused on his phone. His back was slumped into an awfully uncomfortable angle and the light that illuminated his face showed off all the unflattering creases his face held. 

For only about two seconds, Mingyu entertained the idea of just walking past without so much as an acknowledgment. Wonwoo did that to him sometimes, why not get to play that side of the game today? It wasn’t like Wonwoo would even know that Mingyu ignored—

A few more steps closer and that thought cut off abruptly when Wonwoo reached up to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Watching the movement felt awfully familiar. Uncomfortably familiar. So painstakingly familiar that Mingyu had to interrupt his own thoughts to remind his own self that this was the first time he had even seen Wonwoo wearing glasses.

The sight resonated in Mingyu. So much so that he needed a reassurance that wasn’t just his own memory.

“Hey,” said Mingyu when he finally made it in front of Wonwoo.

Wonwoo startled, fumbled his phone, then looked up when the device was secured in his grip. 

“Oh, Mingyu, you scared me,” said Wonwoo as he adjusted his glasses again, which had skewed a bit from his jump.

Mingyu grinned into his words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Wonwoo opened his mouth, but Mingyu cut him off.

“I’ve never seen you in glasses before,” led Mingyu.

“Have you not?” asked Wonwoo as he readjusted said glasses again.

Mingyu’s lips screwed a bit. It wasn’t the answer Mingyu wanted and didn’t reassure him one bit. 

“What?” asked Wonwoo, who had reached a conclusion through Mingyu’s silence. “Do they look strange?”

Wonwoo took them off before Mingyu even had time to actually answer. 

“What?” asked back Mingyu as his eyebrows scrunched in confusion, “No, they don’t. I just— just don’t think I’ve seen you wear them before. Do you usually wear contacts?”

“Sometimes,” said Wonwoo modestly.

Mingyu swallowed. The less decisive Wonwoo’s answers were, the more Mingyu could have swore he’d never seen him wear glasses before. Or was it that he thought he _had_ seen Wonwoo wearing them?

A frown formed on Mingyu’s lips. He couldn’t for the life of him remember which stance he had been taking when he first asked Wonwoo his question. The weird non truth his mind had fed him had merged enough with the actual truth that his original stance had been lost along the way. But the intensity and incessantness of the provided non truth _really_ bothering him for some reason, like a scab that itched relentlessly.

His blood simmered hotly under his skin. It bothered Mingyu so much that he turned agitated and lowkey pissed enough to finally realize that he was wasting valuable brain cells even contemplating this non issue. His mind was already a mess from the caffeine and equations and the two hours of sleep he got last night and he only just realized that whatever his brain was feeding him should have been taken with a grain of salt from the beginning. 

“Um, is there something wrong?” spoke up Wonwoo. The mixed look of concerned and confused that greeted him made Mingyu’s cheek burn.

It was then that Mingyu realized just how weird he was acting. And over some stupid glasses question no less.

“Sorry, just forget I brought it up,” dismissed Mingyu. Wonwoo looked a bit slapped by Mingyu’s words.

But Mingyu was already mounting his bike so he could make a quick get away, trying to escape the embarrassment that was creeping up when he realized that he just made a huge fool of himself in front of Wonwoo.

Later that night, Mingyu shook off the embarrassing skeptical he made of himself with the comforting reminder that he didn’t care what Wonwoo thought of him anyways.

\---

Mingyu would blame the alcohol. He would always blame the alcohol if the option was available. Why wouldn’t he blame the alcohol when he was on a steady train towards plastered and somehow found himself on the same couch as the one Wonwoo was currently residing on.

And if he had waited in the hallway until whoever it was that was sitting opposite of Wonwoo to get up beforehand—well—that was his secret. 

It took Wonwoo looking over to him with a raised eyebrow, something glittering in his eye that finally reminded Mingyu of how he acted the last time they saw each other. 

Without meaning to, Mingyu was already apologizing.

“Sorry about the last time,” said Mingyu, the bottom of his beer glass suddenly very interesting, “I was, uh, being weird, or awkward. Or something,” ended Mingyu awkwardly. 

For a second, Mingyu thought Wonwoo wasn’t going to acknowledge that he even said anything. Mingyu was pretty sure he could even see Wonwoo think over his options, whether he was going to make this an ‘ignore’ day or not. But then suddenly, Wonwoo was turning his body so that his knee came up to rest on the couch between them, body facing directly towards Mingyu. 

“Did I look that good in glasses? What was the saying for that?” Wonwoo seemed to remember as he smiled brightly, “Did I, ‘render you speechless’?”

Somewhere in Mingyu’s mind, he registered that Wonwoo might be flirting with him. Maybe in the part of his brain that wasn’t fixated on the fact that he had all of Wonwoo’s undivided attention. Mingyu felt a bit hot under his gaze, but that also could be because Soonyoung refused the crank up the air conditioning even when there was five times the usual amount of people in his place. 

“Uh,” Mingyu shouldn’t have had so much to drink before approaching Wonwoo. Or maybe he should have decided against it as a whole. He already knew his sober mind would chastise him over this decision. “I guess you did.”

A dazzling, albeit quite drunk, smile from Wonwoo.

Mingyu didn’t know how long he had been sitting on the couch talking with Wonwoo. He had long since placed his empty beer on the floor next to his foot and he was a bit desperate for a new one, but Wonwoo was flitting from topic to topic so fast that Mingyu was convinced that if he had left, Wonwoo would flit right on to a new person.

“Have you or have you not bought your pair of red headphone yet?” asked Wonwoo. 

Red headphones? Mingyu has been a rather proud new owner of some red headphones for all of a single week. They were new and shiny and quite expensive if he was going to be completely honest. But they also haven’t seen the light outside Mingyu’s dorm room yet. How did…? 

But instead of asking how Wonwoo knew, Mingyu was more fixated on the way Wonwoo had worded it. Forget the fact that Wonwoo had been so specific, Mingyu was more focused on how Wonwoo had phrased his question.

“Why do you sound so sure that I’m going to buy red headphones?” drawled Mingyu as he leaned in a bit closer, a small smile on his lips. 

“Ahh,” Wonwoo drew back at that, returning the same amount of space between them as before. “Sorry about that. Please forget I said that.” A few seconds for a pause, then. “I don’t know if I should tell you yet.”

“I think,” Mingyu licked his lips and took a small note that his mouth was starting to feel cottony, “I might surprise you.”

Which would make two of them, since Mingyu didn’t actually have any intent behind those words. He was more going for a ‘I can be mysterious too’ approach rather than something with actual substance.

But Wonwoo rose his eyebrows with interest. Mingyu smiled, happy that his bullshit had gotten a bite.

Wonwoo’s gaze took in Mingyu. It’s an appreciative look, but a little more scrutinizing then Mingyu thought necessary. Much more like a jeweler grading a gemstone then being checked out.

With that, Wonwoo leaned back in his seat, an easy smile playing along on his lips.

“What would you say if I told you that I know much more about you then you think I do.”

Mingyu swallowed around his dry throat, eyes squinting skeptically. “I'd say that you might have stalked my old facebook page.” 

Wonwoo laughed a light but deep laugh. It pulsed around Mingyu, ricoquetting in his ribs. “What if I said that I have access to so much more than just old social media information.”

“Well, I'd call bullshit then,” concluded Mingyu, not quite sure where Wonwoo was going with this. Wonwoo’s words were causing his heartbeat to pick up a bit, worry somewhere in the peripherals of Mingyu’s mind. 

“Is that a challenge?” asked Wonwoo. It really wasn’t meant to be one, but Mingyu had the idea that Wonwoo was going to make it into one whether he wanted it to be or not. 

And Mingyu would be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little bit curious by this. If anything, he could get a laugh out of what Wonwoo might say about him.

Mingyu sweeped his hand in a go ahead gesture.

“Okay,” said Wonwoo as he positioned himself on the couch so he was facing Mingyu head on. “I know that math is your worst subject.”

Mingyu snorts at that. “Anyone who knows my facebook knows that.”

“Alright, how about,” Wonwoo puts his hand on his chin in a thinking gesture. “I know that you prefer coffee over tea.” 

“I don’t exactly hide my drinks when you see me at the coffee shop,” replied Mingyu, still unimpressed.

“I know that you have a mole on your lower back,” fired back Wonwoo, a little bit of a new fire now in his eyes. 

Mingyu’s eyebrows raise before he twisted in his seat, lifting his shirt to check.

“Lucky guess,” said Mingyu a bit begrudgingly as he returned his gaze to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo’s tongue tisks as if he’s disappointed in Mingyu’s dismissal.

“I know that you broke your pinky when you were young from falling off your bike."

At that, Mingyu could feel his jaw drop. The worry that was taking the sidelines on his drunk mind was pushing a little harder in now.

How? How could Wonwoo even know that? Mingyu didn’t talk about it, like, ever. It was a memory so old that Mingyu himself didn’t ever remember the experience. It had retired into a memory that lived on in his parents minds more so than his own. 

“I can always tell if that one happened if your picky doesn't curl as well is the rest of your fingers,” muttered Wonwoo, continuing on the conversation without Mingyu.

“What? That's—"

Mingyu’s words died in his throat as he felt a warm hand slide up from his shoulder to the nap of his neck, before a sharp tug has him staring up to the ceiling, throat a long column and eyes wide from shock. 

“I know you love it when I pull your hair,” whispered Wonwoo’s voice, far closer then it had been just seconds before.

At that, any retort had withered up, dried out, and blown away in Mingyu’s mind. He was speechless, lost, and regretfully, a tad bit turned on. 

The absolute only thing Mingyu’s mind was still able to understand through the haze of alcohol and Wonwoo’s voice and the random streak of laser lights on the wall that Soonyoung insists on always pulling out during a party is that this whole conversation has been really fucking strange.

Then, someone cleared their throat. 

Wonwoo’s tight grip loosened enough that Mingyu can turn to see Seungkwan, who was now standing in front of them, brandishing a pack of cards.

“You playing blackjack with us? If not, I'm commandeering this couch,” said Seungkwan, completely unfazed by what was happening between Mingyu and Wonwoo. The realization that no one besides himself knows what just happened between the two of them makes his stomach roll painfully. 

Mingyu rushed to the bathroom, a half formed excuse barely making it past his lips.

\---

The next day, and the day after, and even the day after that; they all return to normal. Neither brought up the what was said on that couch and Wonwoo acted like it never even happened.

Mingyu’s half convinced he made up the whole thing in a weird awake fever dream. Half convinced that someone spiked the jungle juice he had early on in the party. Half convinced that Wonwoo might be a bit crazy, but he also must be a bit crazy is he keeps going back to him after something like that.

\---

This whole ghost hunting business was Wonwoo’s idea. It must have been the fact that, for some reason, Mingyu tended to forget about his fear of the unknown and the unexplainable when he was in Wonwoo’s presence that had him agreeing to go along with this.

Mingyu didn’t even remember when he gave Wonwoo his phone number when the inquiry message had been sent to him.

It would be the first time they ever initiated meeting up outside of coincidence. It felt like something special and meaningful and Mingyu’s heart jumped when Wonwoo asked if he was doing anything next Saturday night. So Mingyu only hesitated for a few seconds when Wonwoo suggested the strange activity.

Mingyu cursed lowly at his ceiling fan when the light of his phone dimmed, his acceptance text already sent.

\---

So here he was, on a Saturday night with Wonwoo, out ‘ghost hunting’. Mingyu had no idea how long Wonwoo had aspirations to communicate with the dead, or the supernatural, or whatever it was they were trying to find in this hell hole.

“This isn’t hell, Mingyu, it’s too cold for that.” 

Wonwoo’s shadow was long from the full moon outside, which would periodically disappear as Mingyu followed him down a long hallway and past many broken windows. 

“I’ve taken Humanities, I know about Dante’s Inferno. Apparently, the colder it is, the closer to hell you actually are.” 

Wonwoo looked back to Mingyu, a skewed smile adorning his features.

“We can’t just pick and choose what mythology we want to believe in, we get what we get around here.” 

Mingyu pulled his jacket closer, a new shiver passing through his body. Sure, he could agree on some level. That’s why he avoided shit like this, so he would never have to deal with whatever it was that actually haunted the same spectral plane as them.

“So. How long have you been ghost hunting?” asked Mingyu over the loud crunch of their combined footsteps on gravel and broken pavement. The silence would soon ruin his sanity if he let it stretch on for too long.

Wonwoo’s thoughtful hum bounced off the walls.

“I can’t quite remember. Seems like it’s been my whole life.”

Mingyu pursed his lips. 

“Then why bring me along? If you’ve been doing this for so long now.” 

“Everything's better with good company along, don’t you agree?” 

Mingyu didn’t answer. He was in an abandoned building with Wonwoo, his only real escape being over a barb wired fence and to Wonwoo’s car, something he didn’t have access to. He was essentially trapped with this boy. Best not to admit to said boy that no, he didn’t agree because he tried to convince himself on a daily basis that Wonwoo wasn’t good company.

Mingyu’s eyes roamed Wonwoo’s body as they started up a concrete stairway, old but sturdy looking enough that Mingyu knew he couldn’t convince Wonwoo that it was a deal breaker and that they should just head back to civilization. Back to normalcy. Back to a life where Mingyu only ever met Wonwoo out of coincidence. Maybe even back to a life that didn’t have Wonwoo in it, if he was going to be imagining a best case scenario. 

“Don’t ghost hunters usually have some kind of equipment with them? You didn’t even bring a camera, how are we supposed to have proof if anything happens?” Mingyu’s tone was creeping into worried territory as they climbed the stairs.

Honestly, he was praying to whatever it was that Wonwoo said Mingyu didn’t have the right to decide existed that this abandoned building was as normal as one could get from a Saturday night spent in one. 

But the farther along into their night they were getting, the more suspicious Mingyu was becoming. There had always seemed to have been a small trance Mingyu would fall into whenever Wonwoo was around, one that made him forget that he didn’t actually want anything to do with the boy. 

But now. Finally, now, Mingyu’s senses seemed to be able to push that feeling aside the more Mingyu realized how strange this whole endeavor was. Common sense finally overpowered the spell that Wonwoo emitted and now, Mingyu was realizing the full weight of his predicament. 

When they reached the top of the stairs, Mingyu felt another shiver pass through his body. The atmosphere seemed different up here. Thicker, stuffy. 

It made Mingyu pause as his heart suddenly jumped, his natural survival instincts kicking in for no immediate reason. A flood of adrenaline entered his bloodstream, making Mingyu twitch and panicky.

Wonwoo looked back, taking notice of Mingyu’s hesitance. 

“There’s no turning back now,” reassured Wonwoo.

Mingyu hated that he sounded so sure of his statement.

It was getting late. Mingyu pulled out his phone to stare at the top right hand corner. He only had 18% battery left from a long day and the full weight of his situation was a crushing force. His body reacted to his fear, heartbeat thumping hard against his chest, breaths coming a bit shallower.

When he looked back up, Wonwoo was no longer with him.

“Wonwoo?” called Mingyu as he spun in a small circle in an effort to somehow catch a glimpse of where Wonwoo had wandered off without him.

“Dude! This isn’t funny!” yelled Mingyu into the dark. The staircase they had just ascended had led them to a wide hallway with many open doorways. Graffiti lined the walls and the air here was hard on Mingyu’s lungs. It made him want to breathe deeper, faster, in a desperate hope that the next breath would somehow be cleaner than the last one. 

No sign of Wonwoo. Deep and sudden panic flooded Mingyu’s veins.

Mingyu’s mind distorted from the switch. He could vaguely understand in the far reaches of his mind that he needed to calm down, but he couldn’t latch onto that thought even if he tried. Suddenly, all Mingyu knew in his life was that he needed to do something. _Anything._ Desperately, Mingyu started to jog farther down the hallway.

“Wonwoo!” called Mingyu once again. Too much had changed too suddenly and without Wonwoo’s presence to distract him, his onslaught of fear of the unknown and this whole situation flooded him at full force.

The only thing his muddled mind could understand was that he was alone and scared and his only thread to the outside world had just abandoned him.

Mingyu kicked up to a sprint, rational thought obscured to the point that he was convinced that he could simply outrun his fear.

The hallway was long. Much longer than Mingyu could have ever imagined it to be, but he honestly wasn’t in the right headspace to make those kind of estimations with confidence. All he really could register was that his legs had been moving for too long, his breaths were far too harsh.

But finally, right when Mingyu’s adrenaline fueled mind had just about convinced him that he would never reach the end, he found it. 

Mingyu’s quick sprint staggered slowly to a jog, then to a walk until he finally arrived to the very end. He slowly laid both his hands onto the cool cement of the wall, finding a weird sort of comfort in the fact that he was physically able to touch the end. 

Small bits of rational thought returned. He hadn’t seen Wonwoo at all. But he tried to not let that thought panic him again, taking a deep, albeit rattly, breath. He hadn’t exactly been looking for him along his journey to the end of the hallway. He could have easily ran past the room Wonwoo had abandoned him to. 

Mingyu turned so he could lean heavily onto the wall, eyes closed. One more deep breath and Mingyu opened his eyes to the darkness that he had just ran from. 

Yes, he was alone. But that’s it. He had been alone countless times in his life. Just because his surroundings were unfamiliar doesn’t mean he had to fear it. Mingyu was determined not to allow himself to panic again until he had proof there was something to actually panic about. So far, there was nothing to fear besides maybe being left behind. 

He needed to find Wonwoo. With practiced ease, Mingyu slipped his phone from his back pocket. The artificial light was harsh before automatically dimming thanks to Mingyu’s dark surroundings. He tapped through his contacts for a few seconds before Mingyu pulled his phone up to his ear. It rang two times before he pulled it away so he could listen to the building, hoping that he could maybe hear Wonwoo’s ringtone in the distance. 

A few more rings and Mingyu gulped. The answering machine was Mingyu’s only answer. Vaguely, Mingyu realized his hands were shaking as he pulled his phone down to end the phone call.

The 12% battery life mocked Mingyu. It meant that he couldn’t even use his phone as a flashlight if he didn’t want it dying within the next ten minutes. Mingyu cursed himself for not coming at least somewhat prepared as he turned on his phone’s power saver mode. His jacket was way too thin and he hadn’t even thought to bring an actual flashlight. 

Mingyu stared into the darkness as he put his phone back in his pocket and resolved that if he didn’t come across Wonwoo on his way out of the building, he was going to be the one to ditch Wonwoo and trek it to some major street to then call a cab with what remained of his phone life. 

With that thought comforting him, Mingyu pushed off his wall. 

Slowly, Mingyu took a few deep breaths as he listened to his surroundings. It was almost a deafening silence. No birds were up this late, but even the crickets seemed to be taking the night off. Either that or they were hushed into silence from the heavy atmosphere that surrounded the building. 

There wasn’t nearly as much crunching under his feet as the more time worn first level of the building, but his foot falls still left a small scuff against the floor as he walked. 

He only made casual glances into each room he passed, trying not to look too hard. He was afraid of what his mind would conjure in the shadows if he lingered too long.

Then, a little further down the hallway, came a noise.

“Wonwoo?” called Mingyu, voice a harsh hushed sound for some reason.

There wasn’t a reply, but Mingyu heard it again. It sounded like the scrape of a chair being pulled along the floor.

Mingyu’s throat was tight in his neck when he reached the noise’s origin.

He stood in front of an empty room, door long ago fallen off its hinges. It was dark and empty from what Mingyu could perceive, but he was certain this was where the noise had come from. 

Drawn in, Mingyu took a few careful steps into the room until he was able to properly look around.

There, in the corner of the room, at a relatively new looking desk, sat Wonwoo. He had a book out, nose buried deep into the text. There were a pair of glasses perched on his nose that Wonwoo hadn’t arrived in, and even in the dark of the room, he seemed to be reading perfectly fine.

The sight almost made Mingyu laugh. The fuck did Wonwoo think he was pulling? Was this a weird, horrible joke?

Mingyu took a few steps towards him, harsh words already on his lips when a flash of movement out the corner of his eye cut them off.

Mingyu stood frozen as he watched himself nearly skip over to Wonwoo. Watched himself lean over the desk to pluck the book out of Wonwoo’s hand, closing it with a loud thump. 

“Why do you only read during lunch time? It’s called ‘lunch time’ for a reason,” said the other Mingyu. His voice was light and bright. A higher pitch than Mingyu’s current baritone. Mingyu then realized that the new Mingyu was shorter, younger.

This Mingyu looked like how he looked when he was in middle school.

And now that Mingyu was looking for it, Wonwoo, too, looked younger. About the same age as the new Mingyu.

The other Wonwoo scowled up at the other Mingyu before ripping the book out of his grasp.

This time, Mingyu did laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound, born from the fear and anxiety that was twisting in his stomach.

“This has to be a joke,” said Mingyu, voice almost a crazed crack from disbelief. He laughed again, just because he could.

Neither of the other boys in the room reacted to Mingyu or his talking. Instead, they continued to act out their scene as if Mingyu wasn’t even there.

With a newfound determination, Mingyu approached the boys. With each step closer, Mingyu could feel anger ripple through him, only growing stronger with the added fuel that was Mingyu’s fear.

Mingyu, for the life of him, couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening, but he sure as hell wasn’t about to let some kids keep ignoring him when he was just recovering from a panic attack.

When Mingyu stomped over the small distance that separated him and this weird, younger Wonwoo, he reached out.

But before Mingyu could grab the collar of his shirt like he had been planning, Wonwoo seemed to glitch.

Suddenly, this Wonwoo was back to reading, book propped up in his hand, with the other Mingyu no longer there.

Mingyu was then suddenly flushed with the worst feeling he had ever felt in this lifetime. 

It didn’t sear like a brand against his soul. It didn’t freeze him from the inside out. The pain had no actual name Mingyu could use to describe it. It didn’t physically feel like anything, nor did it merely ghost across his skin.

Maybe the closest word he could have used to describe it was pure and unadulterated _hell_.

It was like every sensation Mingyu had ever felt; every touch, every emotion, every punch, hit, slap that he had ever experienced in his lifetime had happened once again, all at once. As quickly as the feeling had settled, it vanished, leaving no trace of it even happening in the first place.

“Why do you only read during lunch time? It’s called ‘lunch time’ for a reason.”

Mingyu could barely process anything, but somehow, he was still able to see the other Mingyu suddenly appearing in front of Mingyu, whom he had just walked directly through.

Mingyu felt tears on his cheeks before he realized he was crying. Mingyu felt the slap of pavement under his feet before he even realized he was running.

He sprinted out of the room, a new kind of terror ripping at his chest.

 _What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that?_ , screamed Mingyu’s thoughts, a mantra, over and over.

Mingyu was jogging his way down the hallway now, just trying to get space between him and whatever the _fuck_ that had just been as panic tinted confusion settling in. Could it have been some sort of projection of a recording? Was Wonwoo pulling an elaborate prank on him? Did he just imagine that pain? _What the fuck was happening?_

Mingyu swallowed around his dry throat when he recalled that he hadn’t even meet Wonwoo until college. 

A flash of movement from a room Mingyu just passed caused his legs to falter. He slowed and listened. 

Mingyu heard words being exchanged. He didn’t catch the actual words spoken, but could easily make out Wonwoo’s low tone, followed by his own voice.

Mingyu felt himself backing up his steps before he even made a conscious decision to look.

Mingyu didn’t even need to enter the room this time to see the scene playing out in front of him.

In the center of the room was a bed. It was new, fresh, and definitely didn’t belong in a run down building. On top of it was Wonwoo, laying on his back, and on top of him was Mingyu. These pair of counterparts seemed more towards Mingyu’s current age, if not a bit older.

Mingyu could only gawk at the scene before him.

Both of them were shirtless. Mingyu could easily see that his counterparts pants were riding low, belt unbuckled but not off. Wonwoo’s own counterpart was only in his boxers and the two of them were close, chest to chest, and kissing.

A low, deep throated moan could be heard ricocheting off the room's walls. 

Mingyu could only stare on in horror struck curiosity. He could feel his own eyebrows knit deeply on his brow as he watched his own counterpart reach down past the waistband of the Wonwoo counterpart’s boxers, a sudden full bodied moan filling the air when the other Mingyu must have reached his destination.

The noise if it cracked Mingyu out of his trance. He backpedaled a few steps until he felt the cold touch of the opposite side of the hallway on his back. He was now too far away to make out distinct details, but when he saw a piece of fabric disappear into thin air the second his counterpart dropped it, he bolted.

His mind was a flurry of disjointed questions. What the fuck was happening? What had Mingyu just seen? Was he hallucinating? Was this all some sort of fever dream? Did Wonwoo knock him out or somehow drug him? Why did he allow Wonwoo to bring him here in the first place? But there was only one question that Mingyu keep returning to. 

_What the fuck was happening?_

It all felt torturously real. The noises that had reached his ears. The sights he had witnessed. Mingyu was breathing hard and his mind was far away from himself. He lost himself to the fear and panic and adrenaline when reality became too obscure to understand.

So Mingyu ran and ran, and as he ran, he now heard sounds from each room he passed. There were laughs, a few cries, and far more moans than Mingyu would have thought possible. 

If he turned his head even a little bit, he would catch glimpses of him and Wonwoo. Always him and Wonwoo. Sitting together on a bench, Wonwoo’s head resting on Mingyu shoulder. Saw himself leaning down to leave a short kiss on a smiling Wonwoo’s lips. Even saw an outsiders point of view of him and Wonwoo on Soonyoung’s couch, Wonwoo’s fingers tight in his hair. 

When Mingyu’s legs started to feel like lead, when his body slowly felt it’s giving up on itself, he realized that the adrenaline in his veins had been tapped dry. There was no more being made, as if his own body’s fight or flight response had given up on him. Like it was saying, ‘if you hadn’t made it out of here by now, there’s nothing more I can do for you’. All that was left was a panic set deep in his stomach and fear fueling his heavy steps.

Mingyu could finally see the end of the hallway, the staircase that lead to his freedom. His body automatically slowed, suddenly flushed empty of energy at finally seeing an end to this nightmare. But before he could make it, he halted just before the last doorway that was between him and freedom.

From this one he heard screaming. 

Slowly, unwillingly, his footfalls lead him closer. He didn’t want to see it. Didn’t want to see _any _of this. But here he was, terror far past the spectrum of understanding, that Mingyu almost felt a strange sense of numbness wash over him. He was already delusional and far past his panic threshold.__

__Mingyu almost felt himself scoff at the fact that he was letting one last room falter his escape. Mingyu thought recklessly, what more could one room provide?_ _

__Mingyu had been horribly, _horribly_ wrong._ _

__In this one, the first thing Mingyu saw was the blood. It was in small pools scattered around the room that only grew bigger the farther into the room Mingyu looked. At the largest pool, lay a body. It was breathing heavily, chest a rough up and down as the person took in desperate, ragged breaths. The man’s face was turned away from Mingyu, but he could still at least make out that it was a man._ _

__Above him stood someone else. Even in the dark of the room, Mingyu could see the dark patches of pitch the spattered the person’s clothes. They were thick globs of liquid that were too dark, too gooey to be anything else besides the blood that already covering so much of the room. Why wouldn’t it be all over this person’s body too?_ _

__There was a tiny window in this room that flooded a small square with moonlight from the outside world. Mingyu watched in stunted horror as the person stepped into the ray, watched as a drop of blood dragged it’s way down his cheek to then drip off this Wonwoo’s chin._ _

__This Wonwoo then squatted down by the body before tilting his head a bit, taking in the scene that lay before him. He looked curious, maybe even a bit bored._ _

__Wonwoo reached forward with the hand that still held the knife to turn the person’s face._ _

__Mingyu felt the harsh sting of pavement cutting into his knees before he could realize that his legs had given out._ _

__He stared into the blank eyes of himself. They were cold, nearly lifeless, unfocused. Somehow, they still looked like they were pleading with Mingyu. Giving him a warning, telling him to leave and never, ever come back._ _

__Mingyu dry heaved._ _

__“Shh, no. Don’t look at that one,” cooed a voice._ _

__Before Mingyu could scrape together what was left of his tattered sanity, he felt a warm hand on his cheek, turning his face and cutting off his view of the scene._ _

__Mingyu had broken along his trip down the hallway, but felt a bit of himself pull back together at the sight of Wonwoo standing in front of him. Terror ripped its way thought Mingyu’s body, a now, not an uncommon feeling._ _

__Hastily, a bit recklessly, Mingyu thrusted his body back and up into his feet, far from Wonwoo’s touch._ _

__His heart pumped his blood almost violently around his body, his only reassurance that he was still alive. Still awake. Still conscious of himself._ _

__He was Mingyu, and not some other one, apparently bound to a room to replay out a scene that Mingyu had never witnessed or committed before._ _

__It was as much of a relief to see Wonwoo as it was a discomfort. Mingyu had too many questions, too many thoughts, and not enough head space to truly make sense of any of it. It was far too fogged up._ _

__“What is this place?” choked out Mingyu. It sounded foreign to hear his own voice coming from his own mouth for the first time in what seemed like forever. Mingyu absently wondered just how long he had been sprinting around this hellscape._ _

__Wonwoo looked to his left, into the room Mingyu could no longer see into from his position. His expression was unreadable, a blank slate._ _

__“I’m not completely sure, honestly. I can speculate for you though, if you’d like.”_ _

__Panic was still creeping into the sides of Mingyu’s vision, still messing with his brain. What had his life been like before panic was a constant and a promise?_ _

__“By all means, speculate away,” croaked Mingyu, desperate for any shred of something that might make sense to him._ _

__It seemed that even his fight or flight response was at its wits end. He shouldn’t be just standing around, starting an interrogation. But his body was heavy, a tiredness settling in far deeper than just his muscles and bones. His soul was tired and Wonwoo was here. He wasn’t alone anymore._ _

__“I can’t prove anything, of course, but I’m pretty sure this place holds a rift of sorts. Maybe even a rip in time and space itself. Here, our pasts, presents, and futures play out on loop.” Wonwoo looked to the other side of the hallway, leaned a bit back so he could see in a new room. “It’s interesting, how we somehow meet in every reality.”_ _

__Mingyu had no words. Wonwoo had plenty._ _

__“I found this place, maybe a few years ago? Freaked me the fuck out. Not much of a different reaction than yourself, I’d say.” Wonwoo looked Mingyu up and down, as if he could tell just how scarred this trip had left him. “But I ended up coming back eventually. Came back to watch and learn and figure out that these must have been past lives, or at least different lives we lived in parallel universes.”_ _

__It was then that Mingyu started forward. The cries and laughs and moans of his own voice were still reaching them, barely, but just enough so that they could still crawl under his skin. If he was going to have some kind of grand talk, he sure as hell wasn’t going to continue it here._ _

__Wonwoo watched him blankly, just taking in what Mingyu was doing. Mingyu reached up to blind the corners of his vision, to remove temptation as he finally made it past the last room in the hallway and all way back to the concrete staircase. For a second, he didn’t think Wonwoo was going to follow him out, but only after a few beats of silence, Mingyu heard the scuff of footfalls following him before he appeared at his side._ _

__“I wonder if there’s a place like this everywhere, in every reality, or for some reason, ours is special,” started back up Wonwoo as they made their way down to the first floor._ _

__Wonwoo’s voice was starting to grate on Mingyu’s ears._ _

__Right when Mingyu reached the final step, Mingyu lost his footing. There’s about a half a second sensation of a free fall before he felt his arm catch in Wonwoo’s hold._ _

__Mingyu felt sick to his stomach at Wonwoo’s touch. Recklessly, before he even had his full footing from tripping, Mingyu wrenched his arm out of Wonwoo’s hold. He helplessly tripped forward a few more steps, but was able to get his footing under himself._ _

__Mingyu turned back to Wonwoo’s wide, understanding eyes. It was in that moment, they both knew something had gone wrong._ _

__Mingyu had no idea what Wonwoo’s goal had been by showing him this place. Was it to finally share a secret that Wonwoo had been holding onto for years? Had it been to bring them closer, to a level footing in understanding of their weird relationship that apparently had ties to the universe?_ _

__Mingyu had no idea, and he had no intention of finding out._ _

__“Don’t,” Mingyu’s nose flared a bit as he breathed out harshly, “touch me.”_ _

__“Mingyu?” Wonwoo’s voice was small. A soft, delicate thing. But Mingyu had just witnessed how harsh, how unrelenting and scarring Wonwoo could be._ _

__“So, you’re telling me,” said Mingyu, “That everything up there. Every scene has happened before? Or will happen?”_ _

__He could hardly fathom or understand the implications of what Wonwoo was saying. That not only did they have proof that parallel universes actually existed, but that them two as individuals played a role so intertwined with each others that they somehow found each other in so many other ones. That there was such a place that could give you a glimpse as to what had happened between them in the other universes._ _

__It was all too much information. Far to grand and exponential that Mingyu wanted no part of it. Didn’t and couldn’t comprehend it._ _

__So he didn’t. The only thing he could comprehend was that he watched the life fade from his own eyes. Watched as Wonwoo stood above him and held the knife that had caused the pain, covered in Mingyu’s blood._ _

__Wonwoo must have realized that he was losing Mingyu, or whatever his end game had been was slipping out from his reach. He took a quick step forward and Mingyu stumbled back a little, only wanted the space between them to grow._ _

__“Mingyu,” said Wonwoo again, voice low and comforting, “what you saw up there, they don’t always happen. There are so many things in our lives that change those outcomes. They don’t always happen.”_ _

__Wonwoo must have known Mingyu was focusing on the last room. There was nothing else in Mingyu’s head, a swirling of nausea and fear and the image of his own blood splattered all over Wonwoo._ _

__“But they could,” whispered Mingyu. He glanced up to Wonwoo. His eyes were big and pleading, but if Mingyu didn’t blink every few moments he could swear he could see spots of blood appearing on his clothes and skin._ _

__“How about everything else you saw?” Wonwoo’s words came out rushed, a bit desperate. “You saw how many good times there were. How many times we were together.”_ _

__And Mingyu did. Mingyu heard and saw himself with Wonwoo so many times over. Saw himself smiling and happy and in Wonwoo’s arms._ _

__Mingyu didn’t even realize that Wonwoo had covered the distance between them until he felt a light touch on his wrist. This time, Mingyu didn’t pull away. It reminded him of all the times he had been inexplicably drawn to Wonwoo. How on that night, months ago now, Mingyu had been drawn to him like a moth to light. Maybe even like a soul reaching out for it’s other half._ _

__Slowly, Wonwoo’s hand slid up Mingyu’s arm. It reached his shoulder and then the nape of his neck, just like it had that one night. But this time, the fingers that slid into his hair was soft and delicate. The tug wasn’t back, but forward and Wonwoo enclosed Mingyu in a hug, beckoning Mingyu to lean his head down to Wonwoo’s shoulder._ _

__And gently, Mingyu allowed it to be so. Wonwoo was warm. The only warmth Mingyu had felt all night. Wonwoo’s other arm came up to hold him close, but Mingyu couldn’t bring himself to do the same._ _

__“See?” came Wonwoo voice, a deep tone that vibrated through his chest and into Mingyu’s own. “This is how it’s supposed to be.”_ _

__And for just that second, Mingyu full heartedly agreed._ _

__Until he opened his eyes and saw the crumbling building around. Until he saw the pale moon that glowed from just outside the broken windows. Until Wonwoo’s grip in his hair turned tight and possessive and Mingyu’s heart clenched tight, too tight._ _

__He was suffocating in this hold and it was too _tight_._ _

__It was then that Mingyu felt the vibrations of his phone dying in his back pocket._ _

__Mingyu shoved at Wonwoo’s chest roughly, causing Wonwoo to stumble back from the suddenness._ _

__All of Mingyu’s earlier fear and panic that had been held back by a flood gate that Wonwoo had somehow created surged through his veins. He couldn’t be with Wonwoo. He shouldn’t be Wonwoo. He shouldn’t even be here, in this abandoned building on a Saturday night with Wonwoo, who he barely knew. Whom he had witnessed _kill_ him. _ _

__“I don’t want this.”_ _

__Mingyu turned, making a point not to look at Wonwoo’s face, afraid he might he sucked back in one last time._ _

__On the jump back over the fence, Mingyu was almost numb enough to not feel the barbed wire that left streaks of his own blood from his palms all the way to his elbows._ _

____

\---

Mingyu stared into his glass of whiskey and soda and watched as the bubbles crawled along the edges of the glass, only to be obscured by ice cubes and other bubbles.

It wasn’t a busy night at this bar, a Tuesday brings very little in customers. And usually, Mingyu wouldn’t find himself at a bar on a Tuesday night either.

But today was the anniversary of the night that changed Mingyu’s life. It felt a bit unreal, almost like it had been an out of body experience, that night two years ago. But the cuts from the fence he had to hop on the way out of the nightmare had long since healed into scarred, uneven skin, which left a daily reminder in the palms of his hands. 

He moved on to stare at those since the bubbles had long since lost his interest.

Since that night, Mingyu’s life had been uprooted. He had transferred universities as soon has he had been able to, moved to the outskirts of town and left nearly everyone he had known behind.

During many points of the process, Mingyu had second guessed himself. Thought to himself, was all of that necessary? No, probably not. But Mingyu was desperate. His fear made him desperate and he convinced himself that leaving wasn’t a big deal. That changing his whole life just to escape Wonwoo wasn’t something to think too hard on.

And since that night, Mingyu hadn’t seen even a glimpse of Wonwoo. 

With that thought, Mingyu finally picked up his glass and downed half of it in a few quick gulps. He had come to the bar to get drunk, there was no point delaying the inevitable. 

After his second whiskey had been downed, he felt someone take up residence in the barstool next to his. Instead of glancing, or maybe even acknowledging his new neighbor like he would usually, Mingyu just kept staring at the scar in his palm.

Mingyu watched on with slight indifference as his neighbor's fingers came up to graze over the scar, delicate but curious. 

Mingyu’s eyes followed along those fingers, up the arm and to Wonwoo, who was sitting beside him. He looked older, which was to be expected, but it was completely and undeniably Wonwoo. 

“How did you find me?” asked Mingyu, a bit rhetorically. He already knew the answer. 

And if Mingyu was being completely honest with himself, he knew this day was going to come. So why not today?

Wonwoo’s smile barely reached his eyes, but it looked genuine enough before he shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly. 

“Must have been fate.”


End file.
